Congratulations on your wedding! Chances are you are back from the Honeymoon and are ready to start your new life together as a couple. This is when the real living begins, and this is the time when you and your new spouse really start to learn about one another. Here are four things you may learn as you start this new life.
Most people live together for a time before marriage these days, and this helps the learning curve. Even so, many couples are in for a rather jolting shock as they settle in to their life of expected bliss.
Welcome to living with someone who thinks and acts differently from you and always will. Hopefully, you are learning to celebrate those differences by taking the best of each of you and building a strong foundation for your future.
But for a while you may be seeing your differences as a challenge. This may lead to trying to change each other to conform to your preferred way of doing things. The better way is work through them with respect and love so you can live together in love and not just cohabitate.
These can be the most trying. From leaving the top off the toothpaste to not turning off a light when leaving a room, small habits of your spouse can fast become annoyances. It may have been a cute quirk before. The difference is you are now going to be living with it on a daily basis for what is supposed to be forever.
Often these habits can lead to ongoing disagreements. One of the biggest is what to do about the toilet seat. Another is about the thermostat. Men are normally more accustomed to being cool, and ladies are the opposite. This can lead to real problems if you let them.
Are you going to live in an apartment or look for a starter home? Do you want kids? When? Do you need to open a joint checking account? What if your spouse wants to make a major purchase? Or a minor purchase for that matter.
You and your spouse have to talk about everything that affects both of you. Whether you are buying a new refrigerator or a pack of socks, work it out, and be ready to negotiate.
DISAGREEMENTS, NOT FIGHTS
All couples will disagree but fighting is a choice. All of the above things can lead to on-going disagreements but whether you fight is up to you. Be ready. Be ready to know how to keep the impact minor and not turn them into conflicts. This is a learning curve.
Remember one thing about fighting: You are both in this for the long run. You can negotiate to a win-win but a fight always has a loser. Focusing on this will make life easier. Remember, you have made a commitment to one another for better or for worse. Getting a handle on normal challenges early will accentuate the better.
If you want to learn how to communicate better with your spouse, create a more open relationship and learn how to keep quirks from becoming annoyances, contact Lesli Doares today. I love helping couples learn to love one another more deeply.