““When you make loving others the story of your life, there’s never a final chapter, because the legacy continues.” — Oprah Winfrey
Do you think Valentine’s Day is a set up for disappointment and frustration?
For a lot of people, especially men, Valentine’s Day is a test that, no matter how hard they try, they are guaranteed to fail.
I, myself, have mixed feelings about this somewhat manufactured holiday. Anything that gets you focused on the people you love is a good thing. The fact that it’s only one day a year—not so much.
Everyone deserves to feel loved every day. In ways both big and small. The less often this happens, the more importance and pressure is placed on one day in the middle of February.
If your spouse knows you love them every day, because you make sure to tell them, Valentine’s Day becomes a day for just a little bit more attention and effort. Instead of it being a make or break, sword over your head yearly event.
But Valentine’s Day can be an opportunity for a victory, if you know what to do.
This is where the Love Languages can be invaluable. Using them as a guide can save your Valentine’s Day.
When you know your wife’s preferred language, you can make days like Valentine’s Day much more meaningful.
So instead of the usual flowers, candy, and a crowded dinner out, do something unexpected and significant.
I invite you to follow this guideline:
3 Killer Mistakes You are Making as a Lover
How often do you think about your skill as a lover? Thinking about it too much can paralyze you. And thinking about it too little can result in frustration for your partner. Finding that sweet spot can mean the difference between just an “okay” sex life and a great...
How to Have Good Sex in a Long-Term Relationship
No, you did not misread that. It is possible to keep your sex life going in top form through the years, no matter how old you are or how long you’ve been together. Unfortunately, sex, or lack thereof, is often a source of frustration and arguments in many marriages....
What’s Normal vs. What’s Common in a Long-term Relationship
Do you accept what’s common in your relationship or what’s normal? What’s the difference you say? Normal is defined as “conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern”. One definition for common is “widely existing, general, prevalent”. Something can be both...
Words of Affirmation:
Compliments and kind words are the winners here. Writing a heartfelt love letter is so much more impactful than a store-bought card. Being specific about the characteristics you love and admire is the key. Be sure to mention more than her looks. Tell her what she has brought to your life and why you feel so fortunate she joined her life with yours.
Acts of Service:
This Language is about taking action. Taking something off her plate is a real gift. And not just for the day, but maybe once a week for a month. Or once a month for a year. Extra points if it is something you don’t really like to do either.
Quality Time:
This is about more than sitting together watching television or going to your usual restaurant. It’s about one-on-one, uninterrupted, fully present time together. Doing something she loves, again, is a plus. Taking a cooking class, going to a concert of a group she loves, setting up a candlelit dinner at home.
Physical Touch.
This is about affection, not sex. Giving her a foot rub, a full body massage, even a mani-pedi are winners. Having no expectation of further intimacy is what will make her feel it is a gift not foreplay.
Physical Gift.
If this is her love language, you want the gift to be something that she values. If she has a hobby, consider something related to that. Something she wouldn’t buy for herself. This is where your powers of observation come in. What colors does she like? Style of clothes? Perfume she uses? Getting her something she wouldn’t expect will be noticed and appreciated.
You’ve got this. And if you don’t, I can help.
Around the Web This Week
Stop Accepting the “Status Quo” in Your Marriage
Do you believe that marriage takes work? Do you believe that marriage is the place sex goes to die? Do you believe that you need to compromise and sacrifice who you are for your marriage to work? Do you believe that this is the best you’re going to get so just accept it? STOP. NOW. These statements are only true if you choose to continue believing them. You don’t have to settle for a “less than” marriage. Stuart Motola, relationship coach and the author of Fixing You is Killing Me: A Conscious Roadmap to Knowing When to Save and When to Leave Your Relationship, reveals how you can have the relationship you desire and deserve.
