“Sex is always about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions.” ~ Deepak Chopra
I remember back in the late 80s listening to a Tim Allen stand up routine where he said men have three simple needs: the need for sex, the need for toys, and the need to be left alone.
But since men are people, I wonder if that’s really true.
In my Roommate to Romeo Workshop, one of the participants shared that he always feels like he’s doing something wrong because his wife has a list of criticisms and complaints. He acknowledged that she does some things that annoy him but not enough to bring up and address.
He’s not the only man I’ve heard this from.
And it makes me question if they really are satisfied with less or if that’s just what they have come to expect.
Is it that they don’t want more or that, even if they do, they won’t get it?
I wonder if that’s why there is such a focus on physical intimacy for a lot of men.
But putting all their eggs in this basket is a slippery slope for them and their relationships.
It has been well established that the quality of your life is a function of the quality of your relationships. And I have to think that shrinking all of your feelings, needs, and desires into one outlet—sex—is limiting.
It also puts a lot of pressure on that one aspect of your relationship.
Do You Respond Badly to Your Wife’s Criticism?
No one likes criticism. Even if given “constructively”, it hurts. And when it comes from your wife? Even harder. How you respond to it can, and often, does make the situation worse. And this puts your marriage in danger. Yes, she may be exaggerating your actions. Yes,...
Women Shouldn’t Do Anymore Housework this Year
That’s the title of a piece by Sarah Greene Carmichael of Bloomberg Opinion that appeared in my local paper last Saturday. According to her, there should be an Equal Housework Day every August to underline the extra labor women put in at home. Time Magazine had a...
UNDERSTANDING IN MARRIAGE IS OVERRATED
Do you make your wife jump through hoops to get courtesy and compassion from you? If so, you’re putting your marriage in grave danger. I was thinking about this during a session earlier today with my clients Todd and Susan (not their real names). She was hurt when he...
Many of my clients are blindsided by their wives asking for a divorce. They’ve been having sex. Maybe not consistent sex. Or great sex. But enough for them to think everything is fine. Until it’s not.
Or they are focused on increasing the amount of sex or the variety of it, thinking that if that gets fixed, everything else is fine.
What’s really necessary for the marriage to be good is honest, open communication. Meaning both of you have to be honest about what you want and need from each other and the relationship.
This is much harder than simply focusing on your physical relationship. But ultimately, it’s worth it.
It’s vital for neither partner to settle for a less than relationship. But tapping into areas you’re not familiar with can be challenging.
But it’s important to try. Your well-being, that of your marriage and of your wife require it.
You’ve got this. But if you don’t, I’ve got you. If you want more from your marriage, let’s talk.
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Did You Know that Women Initiate Most Divorces?
Per a 2015 study, women initiate two-thirds of divorces. College-educated women initiate about 90% of them. These are statistics that should alarm anyone who is married. It may be that women are unhappier in their marriages then men are. If this is true, is divorce the answer? Could something else be going on? Women’s Empowerment Coach Julie Danielson reveals what she has learned from the women she helps navigate divorce.
