With apologies to The Beatles, maintaining a relationship takes more than love. Most of us both love and are in love with our partners when we marry them. But it doesn’t always stay that way. That’s because we don’t learn the skills that can keep your love alive.
Love is a necessary but not sufficient component for a successful marriage. Love is a living thing. And it needs to be nurtured if it is going to survive. But in too many marriages, it dies from neglect.
Love is an action word. If you stop acting in a loving manner, your love will perish. And it is often overshadowed by focusing on things that aren’t seen as loving. This attention to what’s not going well in your relationship creates resentment and gives you permission to withhold your love and affection. You aren’t receiving it, so you stop giving it.
You might believe that if you aren’t feeling a certain way, you can’t take action. But often times, feelings follow actions. And this is how you can turn things around.
And there is another challenge to thinking that love is all you need. What kind of love are you talking about?
Your Wife has Desire, But Maybe Not for You
Okay, I know that sounds harsh, but it might not be as bad as you think. Because if she has any kind of sexual desire that means there is potential to improve your love life. In a recent post, I addressed spontaneous, reactive, and contextual desire. Today, I want to...
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year (Really!)
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Not only is it in the middle of my favorite season, but there are no gifts to buy, no costumes to wear, and no real decorations to put up. Just a celebration of all the things that make life enjoyable—good company, good food, and,...
Why Your Desire and Your Wife’s Don’t Match
I have said for years that the biggest challenge to a successful marriage is that you are now, always have been, and always will be two different people. And this includes how you approach sex and intimacy. In the beginning of your relationship, this part may have...
If you’ve ever said, or heard, “I love you but I’m not in love with you”, you are missing the big picture. Because this statement is not considered a good thing.
Falling in love is easy. It’s a neurochemical process that is designed to keep humanity going. But it does not last, at least not in the way it begins. It’s an all-consuming event, this falling in love. And it lasts about 18 months because it is unsustainable at this level.
Ideally, this initial heady love transitions to a deeper, more committed love. It can be a little more challenging than when you’re “in love” but it is no less valid and valuable. It’s actually more important for your relationship.
And love also has seasons. It can ebb and flow through the years based on what else is happening in your life. And this is why you need more than just being “in love”. You need friendship and good relationship skills if you’re going to have a good marriage that stands the test of time.
If you’re ready to learn those skills and have the marriage you desire and deserve, let’s talk.
source: The Hero Husband Project
Around the Web This Week
The “No Excuse” Way to Reconnect with Your Spouse
Nothing thrives on neglect and your marriage is no different. But it’s easy to let things go because “it’s not that bad” or other things take priority—your kids, job, social media. If you have lost touch with each other, being stuck together without your usual outlets may feel like torture. But it doesn’t have to. Couples Coach and Founder of Embodied Breath Sarah Poet reveals an easy way to get your relationship groove back. It’s easier than you think.
Bad Marriage Advice #13: Love is all you need
