I still remember my client Sarah bouncing into my office claiming she had an epiphany. I said, “Great, what is it?”
She said, “I’ve figured out that relationships aren’t natural.”
I smiled and replied, “Where did you get the idea they were?”
She is not alone in that thinking.
To an extent, relationships are natural. But so is breathing and seeing. But things can get in the way of those being normal. A cold. Asthma. Near-sightedness. Glaucoma.
Sometimes you’re aware of the problem and can wait it out, like a cold. Other times it might creep up on you slowly or you don’t realize what’s normal and so you aren’t aware of how bad it is. Like being born near-sighted. Because it’s the way you’ve always seen the world, you don’t know how fuzzy and out of focus things are.
Relationships can be like that too. You do what you know without realizing the consequences. And, because you don’t know anything different, you don’t know there can be anything better.
But every romantic relationship you’ve had before your marriage has ended. If you keep doing the same things you did in those relationships, how will you keep this one from the same fate?
Does Kindness Live in Your Marriage?
"Kindness and politeness are not overrated at all. They’re underused.” – Tommy Lee Jones I was reading an article the other day about a Science of Happiness course taught at the University of Bristol. The professors identified 80 or so psychological interventions...
Is Your Inner Rebel Destroying Your Marriage?
"Never rebel for the sake of rebelling, but always rebel for the sake of truth." Criss Jami Your wife is asking for you to do more around the house. Doesn’t she understand how tired you are from your long day at work? Doesn’t she appreciate all you already do and now...
Is Marriage or Divorce Harder?
"“You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take.” Wayne Gretzky All relationships end. This includes your marriage. The only questions are when and how. Traditional marriage vows say “until death”. But divorce is both a real, and fairly common, outcome....
I know you tell yourself that you’re with someone new. And you’re correct that they bring different things to this relationship. But you are the same.
You still see this relationship through your lens. You still have the same emotional triggers. You still engage in the same habits and behaviors.
The relationship language you speak is still the same. The dialect may be different. But the outcome, if you’re not careful or educated, may be the same.
Your overall level of happiness in life is a function of how healthy and successful your relationships are. And your marriage is the most important one.
So what do you need to know or do differently to have a great marriage? What “natural” things about your relationship do you wish were better? What would your wife say?
There are skills and techniques that you can learn and implement to have the marriage you’ve always wanted. What would motivate you to get this knowledge?
If you want to excel at your marriage, then schedule a 5-Star Relationship Consultation today.
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