Betrayal, no matter what kind, is devastating. Many believe infidelity may be the worst form of betrayal. If it has ever happened to you, you know what I mean. But does it have to mean the end of your marriage? 

Most people think it does. Hence the common advice—once a cheater, always a cheater.

I’ve been thinking about this ever since I heard about model Emily Ratajkowski and her husband producer Sebastian Bear-McCloud splitting up due to his cheating. According to her, “He’s a serial cheater. He’s a dog.”

Now I really don’t know anything about them or their marriage. And I do not excuse cheating under any circumstance. It is always destructive. But all cheating is not created equal.

I remember working with Bruce and Megan (not their real names) many years ago. He had a one-night stand when he was going through an emotional and mental rough patch. Everything they found on-line told them there was no rescuing their marriage. That cheating was a deal breaker there was no coming back from.

Luckily, they didn’t settle for that. Bruce put in the work, got himself in a better place, and Megan was able to forgive him. They used this devastating moment to build a stronger connection and a better marriage.

Do You and Your Wife Like Each Other?

Do You and Your Wife Like Each Other?

“Love is friendship that has caught fire." Ann Landers Is being in love with your wife more important than loving her? Do you need one or both for your marriage to thrive? Or is it something else necessary for this to happen? I’ve been thinking about this since I went...

Being a Good Dad Won’t Save You From Divorce

Being a Good Dad Won’t Save You From Divorce

“One of the greatest things a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” –Howard W. Hunter My client Mark called me in a panic last week. His wife of fifteen years just filed for divorce. Like many men, he was completely blindsided. (This should never...

Do You Lie to Your Wife?

Do You Lie to Your Wife?

“And the truth shall set you free. “John 8:32 There are two kinds of lies. Lies of commission are when you look your wife in the eye and tell her something you know is not true. And lies of omission are when you choose not to tell her something she deserves to know....

What they learned through the process of healing helped put their relationship on the strong foundation it was missing before the infidelity.

This happens frequently with couples who are brave enough to confront the cheating head on. 

They emerge with a stronger, more intimate marriage because they learn not to hold back. They celebrate the good, address the bad, and tackle the ugly.

They strip themselves emotionally bare and reassemble the pieces into the type of marriage most of us only dream of.

And one piece of that is understanding why the cheating happened in the first place so it will never happen again.

Because with cheating if you get a do over, you’ll only get one. If it ever happens again, you will be fully aware of the damage you’d be doing. And if you get that chance, take it as the truly generous gift that it is.

If you aren’t interested in stepping up, doing the work, and making amends, then you probably will cheat again. And the above adage will then fit you.

The choice is, as always, yours.

If you have cheated, or are considering it, and want help, then please don’t wait to schedule a 5-Star Relationship Consultation today and find out what’s possible.

Around the Web This Week

ANGER: DOES IT LIVE IN YOUR MARRIAGE?

Anger and I are old friends. And if my husband wasn’t the calm, level-headed guy that he is, we wouldn’t still be married. Because anger can be very destructive. Used properly, it can also bring necessary change. It is a powerful emotion and not all anger is created equal. Author and Clinical Psychologist Dr. Kelly Flannagan explains how you can learn to identify unproductive, even harmful anger, and, more importantly, how to get a handle on it so it doesn’t destroy your marriage.

BAD MARRIAGE ADVICE #22: ONCE A CHEATER, ALWAYS A CHEATER

Cheating is never okay. And you can’t fix a relationship by going outside of it. That said, all cheating is not created equal. And you can come back from it.

Join our FREE Facebook Group for men only,

Good Guys, Great Husbands