Every time I hear someone say that marriage takes hard work I think, “Yeah, sign me up for that.” It sounds like I need to go out and plow the back 40 in 100-degree heat and 100 percent humidity. There is nothing about it that sounds appealing. Maybe that’s why so many people are choosing to forgo marriage.
I’ve been married almost 37 years and I’ve never found it to be particularly difficult. That doesn’t mean there weren’t times it’s needed more attention than others. But most of those times involved external pressures that having a life partner made easier. Turning towards my husband and working with him got us through those times faster and served to anchor us more solidly together.
And if you’re one of the countless people who are working hard at your marriage, it’s not your fault. No one has to take a Relationship 101 class, and, in my opinion, everyone should.
What makes marriage so challenging is that every romantic relationship you’ve been in before this one has ended. And now, with no more knowledge or skills, you’re supposed to keep this one going. You will try to use the same limited tools you’ve always used but expect a different result. And your wife is trying to do the same.
No wonder you both are exhausted and discouraged
Do You Lie to Your Wife?
“And the truth shall set you free. “John 8:32 There are two kinds of lies. Lies of commission are when you look your wife in the eye and tell her something you know is not true. And lies of omission are when you choose not to tell her something she deserves to know....
Making the Time to Do Marriage Right
“Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.” Oscar Wilde The John Wooden quote, “If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have the time to do it over?” popped into my head earlier this week when I was talking to Elliot who just married for the...
Who Does What in Your Marriage?
“The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes.” Amy Grant My husband and I were talking about an unhappy married couple that were characters on a recent episode of the television show 9-1-1. He was wondering how things got so bad that the husband...
But, because you’ve been told it’s hard work, you think you’re doing it right. And you end up settling for less than what either of you want. Or could have.
And marriage is truly a unique relationship. At best, your spouse is your lover, your friend, your family, your business partner, your roommate and, often, your co-parent. Oh, and marriage is also a legal contract.
With all those moving parts, it’s not surprising you might find it challenging. But keeping it that way is a choice.
Many years ago, my client Julie bounced into my office and exclaimed, “I had an epiphany. Relationships aren’t natural.”
I smiled and responded, “Where did you get the idea they were?”
Running is “natural” too but, if you want to be in the Olympics, you’re going to need some training to become great at it. There are techniques you will learn, and repeated practice will help you master the mechanics.
If you’re ready to up your marriage game and let go of the hard work, let’s talk.
If you want to be able to talk to your spouse about anything and resolve ongoing issues once and for all, download your free guide now.
source: The Hero Husband Project
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IT’S NOT ABOUT SEX; IT’S ABOUT CONNECTION
One of the most wonderful aspects of marriage is the deep connection that it allows. For many people, that means physical intimacy. Not just sex but affection as well. Unfortunately, too many couples feel disconnected from each other. Sex, if it happens, is mundane and often unsatisfying. That’s often because they haven’t invested in the relationship in other ways. Psychotherapist and Intimacy Specialist Debbie Marielle Elzea reveals how couples lose their way and what they can do to reconnect
