“Your naked body should only belong to (the one who falls) in love with your naked soul.” Charlie Chaplin
When my daughter got married three years ago my nieces were very interested in the wedding plans. What confused them was her decision to get married in the first place.
This is not an uncommon view for many young people. And some older ones as well.
There’s an idea that there is no advantage to marriage over just living together. And that just living together is actually easier.
That’s only true if you keep your entire lives separate. Meaning you don’t buy a house or have a child together. In that case, it’s easier to leave a marriage because of your legal protections.
A recent report by the Home Economics Project found that “states that have strong, stable families, especially those headed by married parents, are more likely to show high levels of growth, economic mobility, and median family income.” Child poverty levels also tend to be lower.
Marriage isn’t just good for your children, though it does give them a stronger start in life if they come from a stable, two parent household.
A good marriage is beneficial to both spouses as well. Here are five ways that happens:
Bad Marriage Advice #4: If You’re Not Fighting One of You is Hiding Something
Disagreement in a marriage is a given, but fighting is a choice. I will stand behind these words until I can’t speak any longer. So I have a real problem with those in my profession who believe that if you and your wife aren’t fighting then one of you isn’t being...
Bad Marriage Advice #3: It’s Okay to Fight But You Need to Learn to Fight “Fair”
What comes up for you when you hear the word “fight”? Anything positive? This is what my issue is with the marriage advice to couples that it’s okay to fight as long as you do it fairly. To me this is as useful as putting lipstick on a pig. It’s trying to dress up...
Bad Marriage Advice #2: Don’t Go to Bed Angry
On the surface this seems like a good idea. I mean, who can fall asleep when they are spun out about something. And, if you’re upset with your partner, lying next to them and trying to relax just throws gasoline on the fire already burning inside. It’s how this advice...
- Better physical health. Married couples are physically healthier than single people. They are less likely to develop chronic diseases like diabetes and heart disease. They also have better immune systems, so they often recover faster when they are sick.
- Longer lives. Married people tend to live longer than those who are single. This is due to the emotional and physical benefits marriage provides. Marriage also provides a support system that can help them cope with the challenges of aging.
- Better emotional and mental health. A good marriage offers emotional support which helps with stress and anxiety. In addition, married individuals are less likely to develop mental conditions such as depression.
- Greater financial stability. Couples can pool their resources which helps them create a stable financial future. They can save more money, grow assets, and build up an emergency fund to handle unexpected events like a job loss or a medical emergency.
- Greater sexual satisfaction. Married couples report having better and more frequent sex than single people. This creates the opportunity for greater emotional connection as well.
These benefits can be lessened if your relationship is not healthy and some of them can be achieved in a committed, non-married relationship. But the commitment marriage provides makes it more likely a couple can work through normal challenges instead of ending the relationship.
One final plus of marriage is that it’s the third part of the “success sequence”—the formula to help young adults succeed. This involves getting at least a high school education, work full time, and get married before having children.
So, even though it may seem like an old-fashioned idea, marriage still has some things going for it.
So if you want the benefits but may be struggling to get there, I’ve got you. Get in touch and we’ll get you on track.
Around the Web This Week
Yes, Happily Ever After Proven by Science!
Marriage gets a bad rap. It’s the butt of many jokes and many believe it’s an archaic institution that needs to be ended. The truth is humans crave connection. The desire to love and be loved drives both reality and stories that have been told for centuries. Marriage is a formalization of that desire and, when done well, has positive impact on health, wealth and happiness.
Alysse ElHage, editor of The Family Studies Blog for the Institute of Family Studies reveals evidence from a new study that having a loving, supportive marriage is neither rare nor unattainable.
